An Apology to the Robert Fulghum School of Kindergarten
Library sales are so exciting to me. If I time it just right, I can get a bag of books for $1. I think the staff decided I was getting too many good books for a $1. They raised the ante to $2 for the grab-and-go hour.
I search for business books, nature guides, or what-have-you. I find treasures in print. For example, I found a copy of Robert Fulghum’s book, Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.
When I first heard that title I wanted to read the book. Imagine my excitement when I found it as a book-on-tape. So, I read. Perhaps you will say I listened, but I count is as a read book. Gotta make my quota.
Yes. All that stuff Fulghum said seems true. You learn to hold hands in kindergarten. You learn to share in kindergarten.
Here was a practical problem: Where was this school, and why had I not attended?
I thought I might do a search on Google for the school. I was too embarrassed to ask my friends at the university in the Department of Education where I might find the school. So, I just drove around town looking at schools with this big question in my head: Is this the school?
I am not sure what I expected to do if I found Fulghum’s Kindergarten. After all, they might say I was “overqualified” and refuse to enroll me. Why won’t they believe me? I just want a review lesson. It’s not as though I planned to sue the school for the lessons I did not learn or just plain forgot.
It must have been more than a year and a half later, when I had a revelation. There is no need to say I am a slow learner, so keep that thought to yourself. I had a revelation. It was something my mother had told me umpteen years ago when I was a small boy back on the farm.
My mother said, “Because you were born in the winter, you went to the first grade when you did.” I also learned kindergarten was for city kids.
Finally I remembered, and I knew what the problem was all along. I remembered I never attended kindergarten.
My apology to the staff of the Robert Fulghum School of Kindergarten for blaming you for all those things I did not learn.